Daughters Leave

I missed the whole mother daughter thing when I was growing up. My sister was able to achieve having that relationship with our mother and our stepmother - I left. I left my mother's side psychologically early... hmmm maybe not so early but the leaving was inevitable and reinforced over and over and over.

My mother left when I was 15 - she really left my sister and dad - they cried. I was relieved. I didn't have to be reminded again and again daily - that I was not the preferred one.

It doesn't matter anymore - Mom left my life or the worldly life 14 years ago. But she invaded my spirit and possessed my soul - haunted me with the unfinished stuff of relationships.

Amazingly my sister who had lived a happy mother and daughter life had two sons. I of course was forced to renew a different hell with a recalcitrant, analytical independent daughter.

Which brings me almost to the incredible stuff of the title. She also left me psychologically very early on- our relationship for twenty years was like the blackboard and chalk; like cinderella's stepsisters we grated and screeched and wriggled uncomfortably together....

then out of the blue, when I finally had serenity and peace in my life - she announced she wanted to live with me. At my insistence - we had to get all the shards and puzzle pieces out of the box and lock ourselves in a quiet place to have one of those relationship epiphanies and we did.

And for eleven years I had that glorious mother daughter thing - we shopped and ate lunch and did our nails and had dinner ... we chatted about the day and yesterday and tomorrow

Daughters leave - and she did. She is in Virginia and I am in Tucson and all those cities have in common is that T & V are letters at the end of the alphabet.

There is a good piece that goes here - psychologically we are melded like the pinochle couple so the Daughter Left but it is only miles that divide us.